I’m just sad, why can’t anyone see that. I don’t wanna do anything, okay? I’m just sad.
This is my tumblr. & no one here will judge me. This is my diary. I never write too much on a social website, but this is tumblr, & I need to now. I don’t care if someone reads this, it’s just a way of me releasing this pain without actually telling anyone. I’m so upset. I’m so broken. I don’t know why. I can’t explain it. I just am. & no one sees that. No one knows how I’m hurting. I don’t let them. I wear a mask. I act as if I am fine, but surprise, I’m far from being fine. I’m terrible. I’m a mess. I’m just so screwed up, & everything is so screwed up, I cannot take it anymore. I don’t wanna do this anymore. Nobody can hear my cries, nobody can hear me moan for help, yet, I don’t let them, I don’t want them too. Because if I wanted people to know I wouldn’t say “I’m doing fine, thanks!” When they ask how I am. I wouldn’t smile as if I have so many reasons to smile. Because I don’t. I just want people to help me, but I don’t wanna tell them that I’m not okay. I’ve always been stronger than expected. No one has EVER seen me cry for these reasons. It’s rare you see me cry, & if you do, the reason is something like; death, or a sad movie, or whatever. Not because I have emotions. I feel like I’m a robot that has no emotion on the outside. I keep a stupid smile that isn’t even real. Everyone thinks I’m this emotionless, unbreakable person, with a perfect life, because I never show ANY reason to be sad. But you know what. I am. I’m so sad. & I’m so angry. & guilty. & hopeless. My emotions are everywhere. I just can’t do this anymore. I’m done. Why can’t anything go right? Why can’t we get the things in life that we want & need? Why is everything going wrong? I don’t understand where my life is supposed to be now. What am I supposed to be doing. I don’t get it anymore. I thought I did. I thought it was all going okay. I thought I had it all together. But I really don’t. Everything fell apart. & it hurts so bad.
I’m just a teenager, why should I be feeling this way?
Why should I be under so much pressure?
Why should I have so much stress?
These are supposed to be the most wonderful, carefree, reckless years. But they’re just complicated & painful. I hate this.
Sometimes, I’m just sad & wanna run away & not care about what I leave behind.
If you have ever taken a razor blade to that beautiful body of yours, skipped one or more meals, cried yourself to sleep because you never thought you were good enough, attempted any sort of self harm, had thoughts of taking your own life, or actually tried it, HONESTLY reblog this.
I just feel really hurt right now. Ugh.
